Decisions in the Secret Place

“ The decisions that you make before the lord in the Secret place will be poured out in the public place.”

Living a Victorious Life

Now more than ever it is vital that we live lives of Victory! The world is in a state of desperate need for believers to rise up unashamed in love; and let Jesus live through us. In my most recent talk I take the time to unpack the truth that has allowed for great victory in my own life and encourage you to live free as well!

Living with an Undeterred Heart

What we do with the seeds planted in our hearts today will determine the fruitfulness of our futures!

Enjoy my newest talk. I pray that the message encourages you deeply and stirs your heart to guard the deep things that God has spoken to you. That you would be a person filled with hope and victory even in the midst of great challenges.

Death Bound Soul / Victories Voice

“And Jesus uttered a load cry and breathed his last. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This Charge I have recieved from my father.”

— Jesus

View fullsize

An impossibly long night transitioned as daybreak traded places with dawns weakening grip,

The sliding scales of the cosmos spinning chaotically as if in deep knowledge of the gravity of this day.

Shallow breaths, quivering frame, His pure authority disguised as utter defeat.

Heat swarms the cool air of morning, as the sun claims its last victim.

A daily war fought in response to the crushing weight of the inevitable tides before this Man.

Fire rising, the spark of earth's most selfless intention born behind criminals quarters on dew-soaked stones.

Buried beneath cultures rubble, motives so otherworldly His very own could have never known.

Coming storm echos the emotions of heaven.

Bound by no man yet a slave to all, the master of every story, takes His rightful place.

Passion burning relentlessly as the rage of justice knocks on death’s door, demanding retribution for a world gone wrong.

The author of every life determined to pay the price to finish what He began. 

Blinding light shatters swollen eyes. Humanities stage now in full swing.

The bearer of death consumed by healing victory. The tyranny of hell unleashed in vain. For resurrection an unseen card, meant to tear the keys from unworthy hands.

The charge of heaven fuels His racing heart, as our long-standing separation comes to a crushing end.

No burden to large, no hill too tall for this dust-covered road the pathway to the prize before his eyes.

My cry His response, our confusion His selfless solution. What he offered, he alone the power to give.

In anger, the earth quaked, like a ruler enraged the kingdoms of men fall.         

The creator of all suspended, bearing the curse my conscience requested.

And within one moment the voice that formed creation embraced the cry inside histories redemption.

Our warrior king a pain laced harmony he began to sing.  Head raised high in victory, an ancient triumph long in the waiting.

The Roar of Judah exploded, like the light of a beacon in the night. The place of the skull now the epicenter that makes all men whole.

The freedom that rode the sound waves of that shout still reverberates within the halls of this rescued heart.

Now alive again, I will finish the song he began. With my voice raised high I cry, all men are welcomed in!

The same breath that splintered death now resides as my very own guest.

So with these clay formed lungs, I will sing, the sound of eternity breaking free

For nothing will stop the love that’s found its home in me. No hight no depth, no length no width can rip me from His saving grip.

For my death bound soul was raised life by the sound of Jesus's voice.   

Against all odds once again . . .

        A few long moments had passed as my mind fired off thoughts like a broken pinball machine, I was on the phone for the second or third time with my new psychiatrist. Another moment passed and my mind once again focused on the words coming across the teleconference call, " Benjamin, you there. . . umm Yea I'm here." Well, Sullivan family your Son is going to need to be taking two different depression medications and also an anti-psychosis medication." My mind fires in revolt as I try to grasp the reality that this woman wants to put me on freakin' psyco pills! I protest in one outburst and yell, "I'm never going to do that!" "I'm not a Psyco! I'm just going through loss." "Precisely my dear, that is why you need these pills, your brain has been damaged and you have a disease" She calmly retorts. "Well if I do this how long is it going to take me to get off the pills I ask." The other line is silent for a little while, Benjamin, Son, you may have misunderstood me. there is no getting off of these pills your brain is chemically ill and will need this medication for the rest of its life." At that comment, my heart grew cold. Almost in complete disbelief, deep down in the core of my heart, I knew that this could not be my truth. I knew that somehow this was all terribly wrong. That I wasn't created with a brain deficiency. I was created by a perfect God who made me complete and whole at my birth. I knew deep inside that this "sickness" wasn't simply laying dormant in me my entire life until this string of events had triggered it off. I believed that the string of events was responsible for the state I was in, not the other way around.

         With great dramatic protest and uncertainty, I took my first treatment of medication that night. A journey that would last a long time, and take me over the course of 2 1/2 years to beat. But today as I write I am filled with Joy and Hope to announce to you that once again, against all the Odds I took my very last dose of anti - phycosis medication this morning! Marking the end of a long self-tapering program of over 4 different depression medications, across 2 years. I have learned that Jesus speaks a better word over us than the words of friends, doctors, and professionals. That when my Psychiatrist said I would never overcome medication, I stand today a victor over my circumstance. That when the voice in my head was screaming that I was a failure and a loony case, I stand today with a sound mind and a passionate heart.

    You must remember who you are and never lose grip of the truth of what God has said about you. For it is these very truths that the enemy will try to steal. We must keep the word that was spoken to us at the beginning, never surrendering the light inside of us.

    Having walked a road I never thought I would have had to go, and standing on the other side of clinical depression, I look back now knowing that My GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE HOPELESS DIAGNOSIS OF BEING CLINICALLY MEDICATED FOR DEPRESSION! If he could walk me hand in hand through this battle so will he for you. Never lose heart! I promise there is an end to this pain and an uncovering and washing of the stigma of having to take medication. I firmly believe that I needed that medication and am not ashamed to announce that it was the right thing for me to do. I believe that depression medication is wonderful and helps heal the brain so one can be in a position to fight the lies attacking their world. However, I do not believe medication is an end-all solution, nor a permanent life sentence. I believe that each of us has the ability to wisely set goals to completely and wholly destroy depression and live free of the negative side effects of long-term medical stimulation.

  I believe in you, if you are currently battling depression and are in any stage of this fight I want you to know that you are accepted and loved. Do not live in shame and condemnation for having to get medical help. Accept that God wants you well and that you are not failing him or anyone else by taking the enemy on head first with pills. Also, know that through the power of family and surrounding yourself being vulnerable and telling people what you are feeling will bring lasting healing. Medication is useful in that it calms our brain enough to be able to open up and get plugged into a community of friends to help. If you do not surround yourself with family (blood and Chosen) then you will never beat this thing. For it is the love of God through the body of community that cures Depression. And then with Joy, I will smile as you too celebrate taking your last medication! Thank you God for helping me overcome.          

Thinking Powerfully!

 Have you ever had a traumatic event in your life completely "explode" your world; and send you through pain and confusion? Have you ever battled with self-talk that was toxic to your mental health and needed answers on why you are alive? Please listen to this recording: Last weekend I shared my heart at a church event and spoke for about an hour disclosing my personal journey through the depths depression. I spent time training people how to break free from the lies that keep us bound. So stoked to finally share this with you all! Enjoy! (sorry for the recording it is a bit quiet and my wonderful father who doesn't know much about recording is commenting while I speak haha sorry about that.)    

Core Offer

       As it would be, I am no professional blogger, I don't come to you with fancy words and perfected social media skills, in truth I am just a simple mountain kid; unrefined, and full of courage. I probably couldn't tell you the first thing about making a successful blog or gathering a following of people. But, perhaps you didn't come for a polished speech, maybe you came to hear from a simple-minded lover of beauty. Maybe perhaps, you came to hear the raw thoughts of an adventurer bound to love and be loved. I have no idea who's who in the world of internet crazes and likely couldn't give a bit of sound advice on how to get more likes; but I can offer you this: I can offer you thoughts to inspire the adventurer in you! I can offer you here at the beginning of this blog to dive headfirst into the stories that made my pursuit of stunning landscape images a reality. I could offer you advice and skills to become a better photographer yourself. I can offer you bits of wholesome encouragement and poetic inspiration to get outside. I can offer some of my favorite secrets to hidden backcountry treasures. I can offer you laughs and challenges, give you a glimpse into far away cultures as I wander through the Peruvian Andes, or climb high up the Swiss Alps. I can share with you the precious faces of those who live much simpler lives than the common american. I can display the colorful array of culture and the wild mystery of two souls becoming one in a grand celebration. If you came for a liguistic perfessional i'm afraid you came to the wrong spot, but if you are here to enjoy the honest perspective of a hopeful dreamer and explorer then stay tuned to the many more posts that will make up a conglomerate of visual awesomness in the future. I hope you enjoy my process and smile at the sign of a new post. BLESSINGS!